You're Not Listening
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You're Not Listening : What You're Missing and Why It Matters

4.35 (142 ratings by Goodreads)
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Description

When was the last time you listened to someone, or someone really listened to you?

This life-changing book will transform your conversations forever

As a society, we've forgotten how to listen. Modern life is noisy and frenetic, and technology provides constant distraction. So we tune things out or listen selectively - even to those we love most. We've become scared of other people's points of view, and of silence.

Now more than ever, we need to listen to those around us. New York Times contributor Kate Murphy draws on countless conversations she has had with everyone from priests to CIA interrogators, focus group moderators to bartenders, her great-great aunt to her friend's toddler, to show how only by listening well can we truly connect with others.

Listening is about curiosity and patience - about asking the right questions in the right way. Improvisational comedians and con men are much better at it than most of us. And the cleverest people can be the worst at it. Listening has the potential to transform our relationships and our working lives, improve our self-knowledge, and increase our creativity and happiness. While it may take some effort, it's a skill that can be learnt and perfected.

When all we crave is to understand and be understood, You're Not Listening shows us how.
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Product details

  • Paperback | 288 pages
  • 153 x 234 x 20mm | 379g
  • HARVILL SECKER
  • London, United Kingdom
  • English
  • 178730096X
  • 9781787300965
  • 1,165

Review quote

We are losing this most crucial, arguably, of our skills in the modern world... I'll be adopting Murphy's advice... and I will be employing "support" responses everywhere. -- Charlotte Edwardes * Sunday Times Style Magazine * It's time for a spot of re-education... A fascinating guide to something we assume we do automatically, yet for the most part do very badly... The art of listening is really the art of being human. -- Stephen Moss * Guardian * Fiercely topical... You're Not Listening is an intriguing and constructive take on the problem... and a manual for better communication. Murphy's book is intelligent and thought-provoking... Listening is when someone take a real interest in who you are...a moment of attunement and understanding that sticks in both heads. We could all do with some of that. -- Melanie Reid * The Times * Gripping from start to finish... brilliant...extraordinarily interesting...full of meat and gold. -- Chris Evans * Virgin Radio Breakfast Show * The premise of this book couldn't be more timely... inspiringly profound... Smart and playful... It feels like a reiteration of something essential... Murphy is here to remind us - entertainingly and compellingly - exactly why it matters so much, especially right now. Hear, hear. -- Viv Groskop * Observer *
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About Kate Murphy

Journalist Kate Murphy is a New York Times contributor whose eclectic and much-shared pieces have explored an extraordinary range of topics including health, technology, science, design, art, business, finance, fashion, dining, travel, and real estate. Kate is known for her fresh and accessible way of explaining complex subjects, particularly the science behind social interactions, helping readers understand why people behave the way they do.
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Rating details

142 ratings
4.35 out of 5 stars
5 48% (68)
4 43% (61)
3 7% (10)
2 1% (1)
1 1% (2)
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