The Wit Humour of America Volume 1

The Wit Humour of America Volume 1

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This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1907 edition. Excerpt: ...speech had me groggy. Whenever I hear a woman turn on that "loveliest eyes" gag about an actor I always feel that a swift slap from a wet dish-rag would look well on her back hair. Then the bunch across the aisle got the flag. "Well, you know," says the broad lady who paid for one seat and was compelled by Nature to use three, "you know there's only five in our family, and so I take just five slices of stale bread and have a bowl of water ready in which I've dropped a pinch of salt. Then I take a piece of butter about the size of a walnut, and thoroughly grease the bottom of a frying-pan; then beat five eggs to a froth, and--" I'm hoping the conductor will come in and give us all a tip to take to the timber because the cops are going to pinch the room, but there's nothing doing. One of the dames on my right finds her voice and passes it around: ---"Oh, I, think it's a perfect fright! I always did detest electric blue, anyway. It is so unbecoming, and then--" I've just decided that this lady ought to make up as a Swede servant girl and play the part, when her friend hooks in: "Oh, yes; I think it will look perfectly sweet! It is a foulard in one of those new heliotrope tints, made with a crepe de chine chemisette, with a second vest peeping out on either side of the front over an embroidered satin vest and cut in scallops on the edge, finished with a full ruche of white chiffon, and the sleeves are just too tight for any use, and the skirt is too long for any good, and I declare the lining is too sweet! and I just hate to wear it out on the street and get it soiled, and I was going to have it made with a tunic, and Mrs. Wigwag--that's more

Product details

  • Paperback | 100 pages
  • 189 x 246 x 5mm | 195g
  • United States
  • English
  • black & white illustrations
  • 123676448X
  • 9781236764485