Why Does He Do That?
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Why Does He Do That? : Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men

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Description

In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft--a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men--uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued in a relationship, and to find ways to get free of abuse. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You've asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men--and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: - The early warning signs of abuse - The nature of abusive thinking - Myths about abusers - Ten abusive personality types - The role of drugs and alcohol - What you can fix, and what you can't - And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely "This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives."--Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Healthshow more

Product details

  • Paperback | 432 pages
  • 152 x 228 x 26mm | 399.99g
  • Penguin Putnam Inc
  • Berkley Publishing Corporation,U.S.
  • New York, United States
  • English
  • Reprint
  • 0425191656
  • 9780425191651
  • 4,316

Review quote

"Bancroft has opened a window into the thinking of abusive men, and his book helps open a door out of abusive relationships."--Gavin de Becker, New York Times bestselling author of The Gift of Fear and Fear Less "Most books about abuse in relationships focus on women--how they're hurt, why they stay. As important as these questions are, they can also distract us from the heart of the problem. Bancroft boldly asks--and brilliantly answers--the most important questions of all: Why do so many men abuse women? What can be done about it? This book is desperately needed and long overdue."--Jackson Katz, creator of the award-winning video Tough Guise: Violence, Media and the Crisis in Masculinity "This fascinating investigation into what makes abusive men tick is alarming but its candid handling of a difficult subject makes it a valuable resource for professionals and victims alike...Jargon-free analysis is frequently broken up by interesting first-person accounts and boxes that distill in-depth information into simple checklists. Bancroft's book promises to be a beacon of calm for many storm-tossed families."--Publishers Weekly "Bancroft, a former codirector of Emerge, the first U.S. program for abusive men, and a 15-year veteran of work with abusive men, reminds readers that each year in this country, two to four million women are assaulted by their partners and that at least one out of three American women will be a victim of violence by a husband or boyfriend at some point in her life. His valuable resource covers early warning signs, ten abusive personality types, the abusive mentality, problems with getting help from the legal system, and the long, complex process of change...This is essential reading for those in the helping professions and highly recommended."--Library Journalshow more

About Lundy Bancroft

Lundy Bancroft has over twenty-five years of experience in the fields of abuse, trauma, and recovery. He has published five books, including the bestseller Why Does He Do That?, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?, When Dad Hurts Mom, The Batterer as Parent, and Should I Stay of Should I Go?. Lundy has worked with over 1000 abusive men in his counseling groups. He has also served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness, and has presented to 350 audiences across the U.S. and abroad.show more

Table of contents

Why Does He Do That? Acknowledgments Note on Terminology Introduction Part I: The Nature of Abusive Thinking 1. The Mystery 2. The Mythology 3. The Abusive Mentality 4. The Types of Abusive MenPart II: The Abusive Man in Relationships 5. How Abuse Begins 6. The Abusive Man in Everyday Life 7. Abusive Men and Sex 8. Abusive Men and Addiction 9. The Abusive Man and Breaking UpPart III: The Abusive Man in the World 10. Abusive Men as Parents 11. Abusive Men and Their Allies 12. The Abusive Man and the Legal SystemPart IV: Changing the Abusive Man 13. The Making of an Abusive Man 14. The Process of Change 15. Creating an Abuse-Free World Resources Indexshow more

Our customer reviews

When I ordered this book I was so confused about my husbands behaviour and didn't know whether I would call what he does abusive, he doesn't hit me, but I feel just as hurt by his other behaviours if not more. I finished the book in a weekend while I stayed at my parents. The peace I feel in having his behaviours confirmed as wrong, learning I am not to blame for his behaviour, and having those tatics explained in details is worth more than I paid for this book. As Lundy says, you need to see through the smoke screen and mirrors to be able to see any change. I would suggest you read this book if you are confused about what abuse is. It would also be helpful for those who know someone in an abusive relationship as you would learn how she/he is feeling/thinking, or if you suspect that you might be entering an abusive relationship as it talks about warning signs. It is almost a bible for women who are in such a relationship and I could not be more grateful for making this purchase.show more
by Laura Bennett
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