This Is Not A Drill

This Is Not A Drill : Just Another Glorious Day in the Oilfield

3.77 (649 ratings by Goodreads)
By (author) 

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The outrageous sequel to Don't Tell Mum I Work on the Rigs (She Thinks I'm a Piano Player in a Whorehouse) brings more great stories from the far side of civilization - hilarious, full of humour, colourful characters and dramatic action!

Just another glorious day in the oilfield for Paul Carter! He's stuck in the middle of the Russian sea on a rig staffed by a crew from Azerbaijan. The choppers are older than him and can only fly by line of sight, turning back regularly due to the weather which gets particuarly interesting when they are past the point of no return with half there fuel gone and they are committed to finding the rig in a fog that's thicker than a Big Brother housemate.

The closest thing to a hotel for miles around is the Asylum, a former soviet mental institution that now houses offshore personnel en-route to the rig, where his room mates are Vodka Bob - who drinks Guinness for breakfast when he's not on the rig - Sick Boy, who snores like a pit bull being hot-waxed and Sealbasher.

In his inimitable style Paul Carter regales us with his colourful adventures from the front line of thee oil industry and the far side of civilization!
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Product details

  • Paperback | 272 pages
  • 130 x 198 x 22mm | 258g
  • London, United Kingdom
  • English
  • 2nd Revised ed.
  • Illustrations (some col.), ports. (some col.)
  • 1857885635
  • 9781857885637
  • 48,817

Review Text

If you're looking for a rip-roaring, rollicking roster of drunken antics, tropical diseases and bad behaviour, you won't go far wrong. Amazon reviews
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Review quote

Get ready for loosely connected, bawdy stories about the author and his outrageous friends. Some tales come from the oil rigs Carter worked on, but most take place in bars, where misogynistic alpha males drown themselves in a sea of liquor. How about the one where a bloke with a glass eye pops it into someone's beer, and the crowd waits until the victim quaffs the last ounce to see it staring at him from the bottom of his glass? Carter narrates the audiobook in his working-class Australian accent, loaded with the national vocabulary of 'mates', 'queuing', 'boiled sweets', and 'rubbing one out' (think gas). His rapid narrative style leaves the listener little time to ponder the novel metaphors, similes, and analogies. * Audiofile Magazine * If you're looking for a rip-roaring, rollicking roster of drunken antics, tropical diseases and bad behaviour, you won't go far wrong. * Amazon reviews *
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About Paul Carter

Paul Carter was born in England in 1969. His father's military career had the family moving all over the world, relocating every few years. Paul has worked in the oil industry now for fifteen years, relocating every few years (old habits). Paul has lived, worked, gotten into trouble and been given a serious talking to in England, Scotland, Germany, France, Holland, Norway, Portugal, Tunisia, Australia, Nigeria, Russia, Singapore, Malaysia, Borneo, Columbia, Vietnam, Thailand, Papua New Guinea, Sumatra, the Philippines, Korea, Japan, China, USA and Saudi Arabia. Today he lives in Perth with his wife, baby daughter and two motorbikes. But who knows where he'll be tomorrow . . .
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Rating details

649 ratings
3.77 out of 5 stars
5 26% (169)
4 34% (222)
3 32% (205)
2 7% (47)
1 1% (6)
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