The Teenage Years

The Teenage Years

3.81 (1,681 ratings by Goodreads)
By (author)  , By (author) 

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Description

Thirteen-year-old schoolboy, Dirk Lloyd, has a dark secret - in fact he is a dark secret. Dirk - according to his own account - is the earthly incarnation of a Dark Lord, supreme ruler of the Darklands and leader of great armies of orcs and warriors, intent on destruction and bloody devastation. Following a colossal final battle between the forces of good and evil, the Dark Lord was defeated and hurled by his arch-foe's spells into the Pit of Uttermost Despair. At the bottom of the Pit lies...a supermarket car park in the municipal town of Whiteshields, somewhere in modern day England. And when he is found, and tries to explain that he is the Dark Lord, people think he means Dirk Lloyd. The fact that he's trapped in the puny body of a schoolboy doesn't help. And so begins Dirk's battle to recover his dignity, his power, and his lands...Along the way he faces the inconvenience of being fostered by a do-gooding family, the Purejoies; the torture of endless hours of drudgery at the Whiteshields Brainwashing Centre (aka school); a vengeful Headmaster; two interfering Psychotic Persecutors (psychotherapists); and constant laughter and disrespect when he attempts to marshall his lackeys and lickspittles (friends) to do what he wants them to.
Dirk makes friends with the son of his foster family, Christopher, and the local Goth Girl, Sooz, and together they attempt to cast a spell that will transport Dirk back to his homeland. Inevitably, not everything goes to plan...But that's for book 2.
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Product details

  • 9+
  • Paperback | 352 pages
  • 132 x 197 x 27mm | 340g
  • ORCHARD BOOKS
  • London, United Kingdom
  • English
  • Illustrations, map
  • 1408315114
  • 9781408315118
  • 74,135

Review Text

A parody of fantasy media that will appeal to anyone who likes a laugh. (The Sunday Times' 100 Best Children's Books) The Sunday Times 20141005
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Review quote

This is hilarious, and is set to have us inferior puny humans laughing out loud... It really is a work of 'evil genius'. -- LiteraryLoves.com 20110719 Very funny, very silly... brilliant concept. -- Bookseller 20110722 `CHILDREN'S BOOK OF THE WEEK` This funny book in the Fabled Lands series is based on an ingenious idea. -- Sunday Times 20111016 Funny, utterly silly and enjoyable book, which lots of young readers will love. -- Bookbag 20111001 Wonderfully original, completely mad. -- Lovereading 20111001 Hilarious. -- Chicklish 20111001 A perfect novel for computer games-obsessed boys. -- Sunday Telegraph 20111127 One of the most original children's books of the year. -- Daily Express 20111202 Laugh-out-loud funny and often touching. -- Queens Park Books 20111201 Amazing, fantastic... great to read. -- Skye Turnbull- 9 year old reviewer 20111101
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About Jamie Thomson

Jamie Thomson is a British writer, editor and game developer. He is the author of numerous 'choose-your-own-adventure' gamebooks, and he also co-wrote three books for the Fighting Fantasy series.
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Rating details

1,681 ratings
3.81 out of 5 stars
5 28% (477)
4 36% (605)
3 27% (451)
2 7% (111)
1 2% (37)
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