Solace : Finding Your Way Through Grief and Learning to Live Again
There is no more stressful and traumatic experience than coping with the death of a loved one. There are various stages of grief and loss, which often take months or even years for many people to overcome. But with the right guidance, readers can learn to lessen the pain and live happy lives. "Solace" provides soothing comfort and hope for those who are suffering. As an award-winning bereavement expert, Roberta Temes believe all of us experience and process grief in our own way. Here she helps readers through the stages of grief, tells them when they should worry, helps them consider the pros and cons of bereavement groups and counselors, and shows them how to use visualization to help the healing process. Featuring anecdotes drawn from her bereavement practice so readers may learn from the experiences of others who have also gone through and struggled with loss, "Solace" is also filled with comforting affirmations, quotations and words of encouragement. Dealing with loss is never easy, but this book provides a calming companion to help readers through their mourning and begin enjoying life again.
- Paperback | 160 pages
- 149.86 x 226.06 x 12.7mm | 249.47g
- 19 Aug 2009
- New York, United States
Back cover copy
How do you grieve the loss of a loved one? Is it best to seek the comfort of others or go it alone? Stay stoically strong or let it out? Does it take weeks, months, years? Actually, says Dr. Roberta Temes, we all experience and process grief in our own unique way. No one can tell you exactly how you'll feel or what to do, but with "Solace" as your guide, you'll understand the stages of your grief and your changing and sometimes conflicting emotions. Dr. Temes will help you consider the pros and cons of bereavement groups, counselors, and other sources of help, and how to use visualization and other techniques to ease your mind and heart--even on your worst days. Enriched with personal stories drawn from the author's bereavement practice, "Solace" also provides inspiring quotes and affirmations to lift you through each day--until the healing process takes hold and you begin once again to find purpose and joy in life. ADVANCE PRAISE FOR "SOLACE." . . ""Solace" normalizes the grieving process and helps readers to understand and accept, rather than fear, what they are experiencing after the death of a loved one. Dr. Temes provides sound psychological information in a soothing and helpful manner that eases the mourn-ing period and promises the light at the end of the tunnel for the reader. I highly recommend "Solace" to anyone who has just suffered a loss." -- Dorothy W. Cantor, Psy.D., former President, American Psychological Association ""Solace" offers hope for recovery. Dr. Temes writes with such warmth, kindness, and comfort. You will not only embrace [her] advice, you will also love hearing the voices of many men and women who have experienced a significant loss. Dr. Temes talks to you like a good friend, so you will not feel alone when Solace is beside you."-- Ingrid Schweiger (DrIngrid.com), psychologist "Finally, a book I can wholeheartedly recommend to patients who have lost a loved one. "Solace" gives compassionate and practical advice to the bereaved as well as specific actions to help cope with loss." -- Laurence Jay Deutsch, MD "[a] must-read for the bereaved. . . . Written with Dr. Temes's characteristic compassion, "Solace" takes the reader through the entire bereavement process in vivid detail. I will hand this book to my patients."-- Renee Garfinkel, clinical psychologist Roberta Temes, Ph.D., is a noted psychotherapist who has taught classes in death, dying, and bereavement at schools such as Downstate Medical School and CUNY. She is the author of several books, including the award-winning "Living" "with" "an Empty Chair: A Guide Through Grief" and "The Tapping Cure." She lives in Scotch Plains, New Jersey.
Table of contents
CONTENTS Author's Note xi Acknowledgments xiii Introduction 1 Chapter 1:What Is Bereavement? 5 Initial Numbness 8 Disorganization 11 Your Emotions Now 12 Your Needs Now 19 Reorganization 20 Chapter 2:Cause for Concern? 25 When to Worry 25 Can You Die of a Broken Heart? 28 Strange Things Are Happening 29 Are You Having Visitation Dreams? 29 Are You Having Flashbulb Memories? 30 Are You Having Hallucinations? 30 Are You Forgetting About the Death? 31 Are You Crying? 32 Are You Suffering from Stress? 34 Chapter 3: Helping Yourself 39 Work Is Therapy 39 Socializing Is Therapy 40 Organizing Is Therapy 40 Taking Action Is Therapy 42 Food Is Therapy 43 Planning Is Therapy 44 Religion Is Therapy 44 Writing Is Therapy 45 Art Is Therapy 49 Learning Is Therapy 51 Reading Is Therapy 51 Sweet Moments 52 Chapter 4: Help from Others 55 Bereavement Groups 55 Disenfranchised Grief 58 Group Benefits 61 Bereavement Counselors-Pros and Cons 64 Repression 66 The Myth of Closure 67 Help for Military Widows 68 Your Funeral Director 69 Your Family and Friends 70 The Unhelpful 72 Financial Assistants 73 Finding Help on the Internet 74 Websites 76 Blogs 84 YouTube 86 Chapter 5: Rituals and Remembering 89 Funerals 89 Cremation 90 Green Burials 91 Eulogies 92 Mourning Customs 94 Monuments 96 Anniversary Days 99 Personal Rituals 100 Memorial Celebrations 101 Chapter 6: Helping Children Through Grief 103 Listening to Your Children 104 Speaking to Your Children 106 Understanding Your Children 109 Chapter 7: Novel Ways to Help Yourself 113 The Tapping Cure 113 Visualizations That Heal 117 Chapter 8:Your Future 121 Reinvention 123 Conclusion 126 Appendix 129 Bibliography by Chapter 139 Index 141
"Many...are grieving loved ones, and the grief certainly contributes to their depression. A fantastic book I just came across is Solace." -- Beyond Blue "...thoughtfully crafted a self-help guide to grief that is easy to read and centered on readers who are now going through the process of grief..." -- Suite 101 " ...offers psychological guidance, practical advice and reassurance to the bereaved...alerts the bereaved to genuine signs of when to worry and consider seeking professional help." -- Director ."..thoughtfully crafted a self-help guide to grief that is easy to read and centered on readers who are now going through the process of grief..." -- Suite 101 ..".thoughtfully crafted a self-help guide to grief that is easy to read and centered on readers who are now going through the process of grief..." -- Suite 101 " ...offers psychological guidance, practical advice and reassurance to the bereaved...alerts the bereaved to genuine signs of when to worry and consider seeking professional help." -- Director ..".thoughtfully crafted a self-help guide to grief that is easy to read and centered on readers who are now going through the process of grief..." -- Suite 101 "Many...are grieving loved ones, and the grief certainly contributes to their depression. A fantastic book I just came across is Solace." -- Beyond Blue
About Roberta Temes
Roberta Temes who has taught classes in death, dying and bereavement at schools such as Downstate Medical School, CUNY, U Penn Continuing Education for Physicians among others, is also the author of several books, including the award-winning Living with an Empty Chair: A Guide Through Grief.