Self-Reg : How to help your child (and you) break the stress cycle and successfully engage with life

4.15 (949 ratings by Goodreads)
By (author)  , With 

List price: US$23.29

Currently unavailable

Add to wishlist

AbeBooks may have this title (opens in new window).

Try AbeBooks


We are seeing a generation of children and teens with excessively high levels of stress, and, as a result, an explosion of emotional, social, learning, behavioural and physical health problems in young people today. But few parents recognise the 'hidden stressors' that their children are struggling with.

Help Your Child Deal With Stress - and Thrive is a ground-breaking parenting book, where Stuart Shanker argues that by teaching children the art of self-regulation, it can transform their behaviour and help them to identify, talk about and manage their emotions. This leads to a harmonious home and children who feel nurtured and supported.

Mastering the art of self-regulation can help children learn to deal with experiences, overcome frustration, pay better attention, engage better with others and enhance their learning capabilities. In turn, children will develop the confidence, along with the skills and emotional strength needed, to navigate the pressures and stresses of the modern world.

Underpinned by science, Dr Shanker's techniques have had a remarkable effect on children and parents alike, and hundreds of thousands of children who have gone through the programme in Canada have shown significant improvement in literacy, numeracy and behaviour.

'In this important and timely book, Stuart Shanker encourages us to see our children in a whole new light and gives us the tools we need to help nurture our young in order that they can better manage stress, build resiliency and improve their emotional health. Today's pupils are under serious pressure to perform; by helping children recognize, identify and talk about their emotions, we can help them find balance and ultimately realise their true potential.'
Sir Anthony Seldon, Vice-Chancellor of the University of Buckingham, co-founder of Action for Happiness and best-selling author

'Our digital age is stressful, frantic and over-stimulating. Raising a child today requires an understanding of self-regulation. Dr. Shanker helps parents not just to understand the meaning of their child's behavior with compassion, but, just as essentially, how to calm themselves in order to better guide their children toward more positively engaged living.'
Catherine Steiner-Adair, Ed. D., author of The Big Disconnect: Protecting Childhood and Family Relationships in the Digital Age

'Capping a lifetime of studying and thinking about children's emotions and behavior, the brilliant Stuart Shanker presents us with this stupendous gift, a true tour-de-force, in which he dismantles and elegantly reassembles, so that the layperson can understand, one of the most complicated mechanisms of the mind: self-regulation. Parents, rejoice! Read this book and you will be able to teach your children (and yourselves!) the practical, immensely valuable, and enormously satisfying skills of self-regulation.'
Edward Hallowell, MD, author of Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder

'Brilliant. In this illuminating and accessible breakthrough book, Stuart Shanker makes a powerful case for understanding children's behavior and misbehavior using the lens of self-regulation. I will never see children in the same way.
Michael Thompson, author of Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys
show more

Product details

  • Hardback | 320 pages
  • 161 x 236 x 28mm | 552g
  • Yellow Kite
  • London, United Kingdom
  • English
  • 144478868X
  • 9781444788686
  • 164,781

Review quote

The first parenting book to bring the science and psychology of children's behaviour together to build brain and body awareness for self-regulation and success

Self-Reg is a ground-breaking book that presents a new understanding of your child's emotions and behaviour. Leading child psychologist Dr Stuart Shanker translates his decades of research, along with his years of experience in working with children, to present a practical guide for parents to help their kids engage calmly and successfully in learning and life.

We are seeing a generation of children and teens with excessively high levels of stress and, as a result, an explosion of emotional, social, learning, behavioural and physical health problems in young people today. But few parents recognize the 'hidden stressors' that their children are struggling with: these can be physiological as well as social and emotional.
When kids are stressed and anxious, they often struggle to articulate what is troubling them and either start to misbehave, or else shut down and fail to communicate at all. This is often construed as 'bad behaviour' by parents, and treated as such. An entrenched view of child rearing is seeing our children as lacking self-control or willpower, but the real basis for these problems lies in excessive stress.
Self-regulation refers to how effectively we deal with stress and then recover. Mastering the art of self-regulation can dramatically improve a child's mood, attention, and concentration. It can help children to feel empathy and to develop the sorts of virtues that every parent knows are vital for their child's long-term well. Remarkably, self-regulation brings about profound and lasting transformation that continues to mature throughout life.
Self-Reg offers parents practical, prescriptive advice as well as concrete ways to develop their own self-regulation skills and teach their children how to do the same for optimal learning, social and emotional growth. In short, Self-Reg will give parents the confidence to help their son or daughter develop the skills and emotional strength needed to navigate the pressures of the modern world.
show more

About Stuart Shanker

Dr Stuart Shanker is Distinguished Research Professor of Philosophy and Psychology and head of a psychological research lab at York University in Toronto, Canada. He's won numerous awards, lectured at Harvard and other leading universities, given keynote addresses at major gatherings, appeared on the Today Show and CNN and been interviewed by The New York Times, WSJ and others. The book has been written with Teresa Barker who is a journalist and has co-written many books, including the New York Times bestseller Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys. Her specialisms include parenting, child development and psychology.
show more

Rating details

949 ratings
4.15 out of 5 stars
5 39% (373)
4 42% (396)
3 15% (144)
2 3% (26)
1 1% (10)
Book ratings by Goodreads
Goodreads is the world's largest site for readers with over 50 million reviews. We're featuring millions of their reader ratings on our book pages to help you find your new favourite book. Close X