Fifteen year old Kendra is starting to remember. She's starting to remember things she's been forced to forget for years. Things she know she should remember, but at the same time, is afraid to. She's been abused, ever since she was a toddler. And now her abuser is back, stalking her, threatening her to make sure she tells no one about him. Or he'll kill her.
Kendra is lost and confused, feeling alone in the world. Her mother doesn't seem to care about her, always ignoring her and pretending everything is fine. Her father is stressed because he's lost his job. And as Kendra starts to recall fragments of her childhood, she sees him in every male around her. In her mother's friends. In her teachers. And everytime she starts to remember his face, everytime she comes very close to really seeing him... she freaks out with the strength of the trauma, of the horrible memories, og the need to NOT KNOW, that she needs release. She needs to somehow distract hersefl, to get this thing out of her. That's why she cuts herself.
But when the memories start to become too much... to show things she's not ready to admit, she knows she needs help. More help than her sweet therapist, lovable art teacher or super nice gay friend can give her. She needs to be loved. To feel something good and pure and bright, to chase away the pain and darkness that fills her. And she's finding that in Meghan, the pretty, messed-up girl at school.
Kendra is about to find out that her agressor might be closer than she thinks... and that he might be even more dangerous than she ever expected.
I have been meaning to read this books for YEARS now. But somehow, never got to it. Thankfully, now I had the chance to read this fantastic tale of facing and overcoming your fears, of accepting yourself, of loving and being loved. Kendra touched my heart very deeply. In all her painful and humiliating memories as a child, I felt like I was right there with her, going throught it, too. Every time she cut herself, I wish I could reach in and try to sooth her nerves. I just wanted her to finally accept her memories and try to overcome her fears. I knew, from the start, who the abuser was. It was just very clear, from all the clues, but sometimes I did doubt myself. LOL. And, I guess, so did Kendra. The poor girl.
The book was so heavy and sad from the start that when it ended in such a nice way, with that glowing/ healing/growing up sensation, I felt thoroughly satisfied. And light. I loved it. It was very alarming, touching, and, more importantly, believable.
* I received an eARC from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.*show more
by Karla Vollkopf