Notes from the Hermit

Notes from the Hermit

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This book was written for those of you who like to laugh, cry, yell, whimper, etc: In effect, it was written for everyone who likes to read. The following is a short explanation of me. This way, halfway through the book you won't shake your head and say to the cat on your lap, "This guy's a nut. Things like this don't happen." So, here goes. BEING A HERMIT IS: 1...Not being bothered by door-to-door salespeople. 2...Not having relatives drop in on you. 3...Not having to dress up for dinner or any other meal. 4...Not having junk mail all over the house. 5...Not having your neighbor Fred, borrowing your tools (and not returning them). 6...Not having loud parties from next door keep you awake all night. 7...Not having someone see you wake up with 'PILLOW HAIR'. 8...Not having to mow the lawn or paint the house. 9...Not having to hire an interior decorator. 10...Not having to worry about anyone noticing that you just passed gas. You're probably asking yourself: 'Does this guy really know what writing an article is all about?' Let me answer that... No! I have read numerous variations of what some people call an article. This is just my version. Its not what I would call Peabody material, but, its mine. So without further adieu (another fancy sounding phrase) let us proceed to what some of us hermits go through. There are many great reasons for being a hermit. One really good reason is that it gives you time to compile little stories about people and... hopefully sell them. That's what I am trying to do now. (As if you didn't already know that.) With all that said and done (I never did truly understand what that means... it just sounds so important.) I'll attempt to explain why I wrote the things I did. Some of these stories absolute fiction. Some of these stories are based on real experiences. Other than that, I get bored easily these days. Now that I have to walk down (and of course up again) the hill for my daily newspaper left by the big oak tree next to the creek, I have time to think up new, or re-think old stuff I put to paper. It helps keep my mind off the fact that my trusty 1910 Hupmobile decided to permanently retire. I'll miss that ol' flivver. I'll even miss hand-cranking it to fire up. What I will not miss are the @ DEGREES$#% repairmen who came out to fix my dish-type antenna. It wasn't so much the price they charged (don't believe that one do you?) it was the mess they left behind. I had to dig new channels in my cave floor to hide the stinking cables. It is not easy up here in the boonies to get rugs for floor coverings. And you sure as hell don't go around shooting bears for the skins to make a rug. First of all, it ain't nice to shoot the thing. Anyway, who's gonna skin it? Not me. Ah, I regress. As I started to explain about... ? Great! I forgot what I was yakking about. I'm sure it would have been interesting. Well... I see the sun is crossing over the cave's entrance. It's getting late. Bye!show more

Product details

  • Paperback | 270 pages
  • 152.4 x 228.6 x 15.49mm | 471.73g
  • Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
  • United States
  • English
  • Reprint
  • black & white illustrations
  • 1507808941
  • 9781507808948