Negotiating the Nonnegotiable

Negotiating the Nonnegotiable : How to Resolve Your Most Emotionally Charged Conflicts

3.94 (184 ratings by Goodreads)
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** Grand Prize Winner of the 2017 Nautilus Book Award ** Are you struggling to deal with conflict in your life? In Negotiating the Nonnegotiable, Harvard negotiation expert Daniel Shapiro introduces a groundbreaking method to bridge the toughest divides--whether with family members, colleagues, or in the polarized world of politics. He reveals the hidden power of identity in fueling conflict, and presents a practical framework to reconcile even the most contentious situations. Field-tested around the world, the results are empowering.
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Product details

  • Paperback | 332 pages
  • 137 x 213 x 23mm | 272g
  • Penguin Books
  • English
  • Reprint
  • Illustrations, unspecified
  • 0143110179
  • 9780143110170
  • 107,072

Review quote

Shapiro exposes the myth that humans are primarily rational in their decision making. There s a fundamental conflict between Homo economicus and Homo emoticus the emotional human being. . . . We tend to make decisions based on emotions and then come up with rational justifications after the fact. This conclusion leads to an important question: Is it possible to put a price on emotions? . . . As a psychology professor, Dr. Shapiro is uniquely able to address a number of interesting aspects of negotiation the rest of us often forget. . . . More importantly, he discusses the conflicts between good and bad that take place in all of us . . . . The world has been enriched with another intelligent lecture on how we should interact with each other. Hopefully this time we will listen.
Appealing to rationality isn t always the best way to mend a rift; instead, both parties in a negotiation have to be willing to get in touch with the conflict s more emotional underpinnings. In his book, Negotiating the Nonnegotiable[Shapiro] shares the strategies he s used to help people in all kinds of settings access the core emotions driving their conflicts and reach mutually beneficial resolutions.
Business Insider
It is important, according to the author, to focus on the space between the conflicting sides in which a solution can be found. Shapiro begins by explaining the Tribes Effect, the force that binds each of us to our communal identity. The same beliefs that bring us together, however, also separate us from other tribes. . . . [Shapiro] offers concrete suggestions on ways to break the pull of these emotional forces, build consensus, and finally bridge the gap between conflicting sides when the ultimate goal is reconciliation of the parties. Personal and global anecdotes bring warmth to the narration, and Shapiro s keen insights give readers a blueprint for successful negotiation.
A masterpiece clear, insightful, and practical. . . . Highly recommended!
William Ury, co-author of Getting to Yes and author of Getting to Yes with Yourself
Daniel Shapiro brings brilliant insights to the baffling conundrum of our age, intractable disputes of all kinds.Negotiating the Nonnegotiablewill help anyone bring practical tools to the table whenever confrontation looms.
Daniel Goleman, authorEmotional Intelligence
A must-read! Dan Shapiro sNegotiating the Nonnegotiableoffers bold, practical, and uplifting advice to reduce the turmoil of conflict and foster reconciliation in your professional and personal life.
Michael Wheeler, Harvard Business School
Daniel Shapiro provides us with one of the most optimistic and compelling approaches to conflict resolution of our time.
Howard W. Buffett, Lecturer in International and Public Affairs, Columbia University
With telling examples from the bedroom to the boardroom to the war room, this book gives us something invaluable a way both to see the perils of identity conflict in negotiation and to avoid them.
Robert Cialdini, Author ofInfluence: The Psychology of Persuasion
Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is one of the most important books of our modern era.
Jaime de Bourbon de Parme, Ambassador of the Netherlands to the Holy See
A life-changing book! If you are going to read one book this year to improve your life, choose Negotiating the Nonnegotiable.
Simona Baciu, Founder and President, Transylvania College
Dan Shapiro has written a book that is at once both profound and practical, heartfelt and hopeful . . . Immersion in his wisdom is a must for anyone trying to prevent or resolve conflicts.
Matthew Bishop, senior editor The Economist Group and Co-founder of the Social Progress Index
A modern masterpiece!Bold and compelling from the first page. . . . Every leader should read it and live by it.
Katherine Garrett-Cox, CEO, Alliance Trust Investments
Negotiating the Nonnegotiable is sure to be required reading for diplomats and peace-builders alike."
Nancy Lindborg, President, United States Institute of Peace
Those seeking peaceful resolutions should keep this book on a bedside table.
David Gergen, former White House adviser; Co-director, Center for Public Leadership, Harvard Kennedy School of Government From the Hardcover edition."
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About Daniel Shapiro

Daniel L. Shapiro is a world renowned expert on the psychology of conflict resolution. Named one of Harvard's top 15 professors by The Harvard Crimson, he founded and directs the Harvard International Negotiation Program and regularly advises everyone from hostage negotiators to families in crisis, disputing CEOs to clashing heads of state.
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Rating details

184 ratings
3.94 out of 5 stars
5 30% (56)
4 40% (74)
3 23% (42)
2 6% (11)
1 1% (1)
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