Love is a Story

Love is a Story : A New Theory of Relationships

3.76 (99 ratings by Goodreads)
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In this groundbreaking work, Robert Sternberg opens the book of love and shows you how to discover your own story-and how to read your relationships in a whole new light. What draws us so strongly to some people and repels us from others? What makes some relationships work so smoothly and others burst into flames? Sternberg gives us new answers to these questions by showing that the kind of relationship we create depends on the kind of love stories we carry inside us. Drawing on extensive research and fascinating examples of real couples, Sternberg identifies 26 types of love story-including the fantasy story, the business story, the collector story, the horror story, and many others-each with its distinctive advantages and pitfalls, and many of which are clashingly incompatible. These are the largely unconscious preconceptions that guide our romantic choices, and it is only by becoming aware of the kind of story we have about love that we gain the freedom to create more fulfilling and lasting relationships. As long as we remain oblivious to the role our stories play, we are likely to repeat the same mistakes again and again. But the enlivening good news this book brings us is that though our stories drive us, we can revise them and learn to choose partners whose stories are more compatible with our own. Quizzes in each chapter help you to see which stories you identify with most strongly and which apply to your partner. Are you a traveler, a gardener, a teacher, or something else entirely? Love is a Story shows you how to find more

Product details

  • Paperback | 252 pages
  • 134 x 218 x 22mm | 381.02g
  • Oxford University Press Inc
  • New York, United States
  • English
  • Revised ed.
  • 0195131029
  • 9780195131024
  • 531,239

Review quote

"Love is a Story comes to us from one of America's most insightful and clear-headed thinkers on the perplexing subject of love. I've long been a fan of Robert Sternberg, whose theories of relationships have proven enormously useful in my own work." -- Dr. Judith Sills, author of the bestselling Excess Baggage, and Loving Men More, Needing Men Lessshow more

About Robert J. Sternberg

Robert J. Sternberg, Ph.D., is IBM Professor of Psychology and Education at Yale University. He is the coauthor of Satisfaction in Close Relationships, the author of Successful Intelligence, Thinking Styles and many other books and articles. He lives in Hamden, more

Table of contents

Part I: Introduction ; 1. Love as a Story ; 2. Our Multiple Stories of Love ; 3. Story Elements ; 5. Where Do Stories Come from and Where Do They Go? ; 6. Stories We're Supposed to Tell: The Cultural Matrix ; Part II: Love Stories ; Art ; Business ; Collection ; Cookbook ; Fantasy ; Game ; Garden ; Government ; History ; Horror, House and Home ; Humorous ; Mystery ; Police ; Pornography ; Recovery ; Religion ; Science ; Science Fiction ; Sewing and Knitting ; Teacher and Student ; Theater-Script ; Travel ; Part III: Implications ; 7. Testing the Story View ; 8. What Is Love?show more

Rating details

99 ratings
3.76 out of 5 stars
5 30% (30)
4 30% (30)
3 29% (29)
2 6% (6)
1 4% (4)
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