Just Listen
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Just Listen : Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

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Getting through to someone is a fine art, indeed, but a critical one nonetheless. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered.Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston shares simple but powerful techniques readers can use to break through the stubborn and hardened outer layers of coworkers, friends, strangers, or even enemies. Just Listen reveals how to:* Make a powerful and positive first impression* Listen effectively* Talk an angry or aggressive person away from an unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset* Achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales* And moreWhether you're dealing with an angry client, a potential customer, or even a friend or family member who isn't seeing eye to eye with you, your goal is most likely persuasion. And the first make-or-break step to getting there is having them hear you out. The invaluable principles in Just Listen will get you through that first tough step with anyone.
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Product details

  • Paperback | 256 pages
  • 25 x 25 x 25mm | 294g
  • Amacom
  • Nashville, United States
  • English
  • Reprint
  • 0814436471
  • 9780814436479
  • 84,773

Back cover copy

"Goulston provides brilliant yet doable techniques for getting through to others. . . .This book transcends the self-help category by promoting real communication." --Library Journal



Is there someone in your life who just won't listen, no matter what you say? Maybe it's someone at work: a subordinate, a team member, a client, your boss. Or maybe it's someone at home: a partner, a parent, a defiant teen, an angry ex. If only you could get that person into a calm and receptive state of mind, you'd probably be able to work out your differences. . . .



Just Listen will get you there. In this powerful yet engaging book, acclaimed psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals how to get through to anyone--even when successful communication seems impossible--with simple yet remarkably effective tools and techniques that can make your words compelling and break down the walls that keep you from getting through to the people you need to buy into your ideas and goals.



How effective are Mark's techniques? One of his areas of expertise is training FBI and police hostage negotiators to handle life-or-death situations. "The same tips I teach these professionals for building empathy, de-escalating conflict, and gaining buy-in will work in any situation," Mark says. "Whether you're fresh out of school . . . or a CEO, once you master these skills you can take them wherever you go in your career and your life."



Just Listen has given tens of thousands of people the tools and confidence to get through to the unreachable people in their lives. With the proven techniques in this remarkable book, you'll learn how to turn frustrating situations into positive outcomes and rewarding relationships. Just refer to Just Listen--whenever a job, a sale, or a relationship hangs in the balance.



Mark Goulston, MD, is a business advisor, consultant, coach, speaker, and psychiatrist. The author of Get Out of Your Own Way and other popular books, he blogs for Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; cohosts a weekly radio show; and is featured frequently in major media, including The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, CNN, Fox News, and the TODAY show.



Connect with Mark Goulston:

Website: markgoulston.com

Twitter@MarkGoulston

Facebook.com/markgoulston
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Table of contents

CONTENTS



Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi xiii

Preface to the Paperback Edition xv

Acknowledgments xvii

SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone 1

1 Who's Holding YOU Hostage? 3

2 A Little Science: How the Brain Goes from "No" to "Yes" 14



SECTION II The 9 Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone 25

3 Move Yourself from "Oh F#@& to OK" 27

4 Rewire Yourself to Listen 36

5 Make the Other Person Feel "Felt" 45

6 Be More Interested Than Interesting 55

7 Make People Feel Valuable 64

8 Help People to Exhale Emotionally and Mentally 69

9 Check Your Dissonance at the Door 77

10 When All Seems Lost-Bare Your Neck 87

11 Steer Clear of Toxic People 94



SECTION III 12 Easy-to-Use Tools for Achieving Buy-in and Getting Through 109

12 The Impossibility Question 111

13 The Magic Paradox 116

14 The Empathy Jolt 123

15 The Reverse Play, Empathy Jolt #2 132

16 "Do You Believe That?" 138

17 The Power of "Hmmm. . . ." 142

18 The Stipulation Gambit 150

19 From Transaction to Transformation 155

20 Side by Side 163

21 Fill in the Blanks 170

22 Take It All the Way to "No" 176

23 The Power Thank You and Power Apology 180



SECTION IV Fast Fixes for 7 Challenging Situations 187

24 The Team from Hell 189

25 Climbing the Ladder 194

26 The Narcissist at the Table 197

27 Stranger in Town 200

28 The Human Explosion 204

29 Getting Through to Yourself 209

30 Six Degrees of Separation 215



Afterword 221

Index 223

About the Author 231

Keynotes/Workshops 233
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Review quote

[starred review] "Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and FBI hostage-negotiation trainer, Goulston provides brilliant yet doable techniques for getting through to others... This book transcends the self-help category by promoting real communication." --Library Journal "Who would benefit from reading Just Listen? I can't think of anyone who wouldn't --customer service staff, managers, salespeople, parents, you name it..." --The Chronicle Herald "We're all held captive when someone refuses to communicate. [Goulston's] 12 easy tools to achieve buy-in and seven fast fixes for challenging situations are particularly helpful for everyday use." --Working Strategies "We all have difficult and unpleasant conversations throughout our lives...Mark gives us the key to not only making these conversations smoother, but help you communicate on a deeper level." --Optimized Geek "The most useful (five-star) book on communicating... Everyone can be a better communicator with the right knowledge, and this book makes learning interesting and easy." --Lindsey Novak, nationally syndicated "At Work" columnist "It's a measure of how contentious work relationships can get that the author, a psychiatrist, draws on hostage-negotiation techniques to instruct readers on how to deal with 'defiant executives, angry employees or self-destructing management teams'.... Mission accomplished." --Time Magazine "Hell, Sartre pointed out, is other people, but it turns out that there are ways to make them less devilish...trick is to learn to really listen in the way described by this book." --Accounting Today "Goulston helps the reader to learn how to get through to anyone." --Business Now Magazine "A primer on dealing with hard-to-reach people in virtually every scenario -- defiant executives, angry employees, families in turmoil, warring couples -- through use of well-honed psychological techniques. Illustrative snippets from counseling session reveal martial-arts like techniques: potent on their own, but even more powerful when you combine them. Chapter summaries feature action steps preparing readers to encounter similar scenarios, yielding a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful." --CareerBuilder.com "[Mark Goulston] understands communication, and he understands people...Who would benefit from reading Just Listen? I can't think of anyone who wouldn't." --The Chronicle Herald "useful and applicable techniques and strategies for everything from getting teams to work together, to handling narcissistic clients (or is that a redundancy?), and getting your message across to even the most impenetrable people" --Accounting Today "an impressive bag of tricks... a guide that is as entertaining as it is useful" --Publishers Weekly "Just Listen is not only helpful for any kind of business, it teaches a skill that will aid you outside of the office too." --Niche Magazine "Just Listen is an excellent guide for learning how to break down barriers." --Pittsburgh Post-Gazette "Just Listen is a banquet of approaches and ideas that's easy to devour the first time around, and a flavorful feast whenever you use portions as a reference book. It's certainly one of the best how-to books of the year." --Inland Empire Business Journal ..".useful insights into opening anyone up--a recalcitrant vendor, a desirable prospect, a client dragging ass....Goulston's words gave me sizable goosebumps." --Forbes.com ..".offers nine core rules for reaching anyone, from Beelzebub down to the lowliest staffer, as well as a host of easy-to-use tools, concrete action steps, and illuminating examples." --Accounting Today ..".provides numerous insights and tips for impactful listening written in an engaging and thoroughly enjoyable manner." --Daily Times "Once in a while a book comes along that makes us slow down, become introspective and thus, learn and transform...Such a book is Just Listen." --Parking Today ..".ranks as one of my all-time favorite books and is, in my humble opinion, the BEST book written on this very important topic." --Linkedin ..".filled with great questions that will absolutely 'Increase Your Leadership Effectiveness X10!' This is a must buy book for every leader and every coach! --Bob Tiede, Leading with Questions blog "Readers learn how to listen effectively, shift an angry or aggressive person into a calmer, more receptive state, and use empathy jolts to bridge a communication gap." --Idealist Careers "Backed by the latest scientific research, simple but powerful techniques that can turn frustration and anger into engagement are explained." -HR magazine (Hong Kong)
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About Mark Goulston

MARK GOULSTON is a business advisor, consultant, coach, speaker, and psychiatrist. The author of Get Out of Your Own Way and other popular books, he blogs for Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; co-hosts a weekly radio show; and is featured frequently in major media, including The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, CNN, Fox News, and the TODAY show.
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Rating details

5,682 ratings
4.11 out of 5 stars
5 42% (2,408)
4 33% (1,889)
3 19% (1,062)
2 4% (251)
1 1% (72)
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