Just Listen
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Just Listen : Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone

4.11 (6,367 ratings by Goodreads)
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Description

Getting through to someone is a fine art, indeed, but a critical one nonetheless. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered.Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston shares simple but powerful techniques readers can use to break through the stubborn and hardened outer layers of coworkers, friends, strangers, or even enemies. Just Listen reveals how to:* Make a powerful and positive first impression* Listen effectively* Talk an angry or aggressive person away from an unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset* Achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales* And moreWhether you're dealing with an angry client, a potential customer, or even a friend or family member who isn't seeing eye to eye with you, your goal is most likely persuasion. And the first make-or-break step to getting there is having them hear you out. The invaluable principles in Just Listen will get you through that first tough step with anyone.
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Product details

  • Paperback | 256 pages
  • 152 x 229 x 19mm | 281g
  • Amacom
  • Nashville, United States
  • English
  • Reprint
  • 0814436471
  • 9780814436479
  • 120,740

Back cover copy

"Goulston provides brilliant yet doable techniques for getting through to others. . . .This book transcends the self-help category by promoting real communication." --Library Journal



Is there someone in your life who just won't listen, no matter what you say? Maybe it's someone at work: a subordinate, a team member, a client, your boss. Or maybe it's someone at home: a partner, a parent, a defiant teen, an angry ex. If only you could get that person into a calm and receptive state of mind, you'd probably be able to work out your differences. . . .



Just Listen will get you there. In this powerful yet engaging book, acclaimed psychiatrist and business coach Mark Goulston reveals how to get through to anyone--even when successful communication seems impossible--with simple yet remarkably effective tools and techniques that can make your words compelling and break down the walls that keep you from getting through to the people you need to buy into your ideas and goals.



How effective are Mark's techniques? One of his areas of expertise is training FBI and police hostage negotiators to handle life-or-death situations. "The same tips I teach these professionals for building empathy, de-escalating conflict, and gaining buy-in will work in any situation," Mark says. "Whether you're fresh out of school . . . or a CEO, once you master these skills you can take them wherever you go in your career and your life."



Just Listen has given tens of thousands of people the tools and confidence to get through to the unreachable people in their lives. With the proven techniques in this remarkable book, you'll learn how to turn frustrating situations into positive outcomes and rewarding relationships. Just refer to Just Listen--whenever a job, a sale, or a relationship hangs in the balance.



Mark Goulston, MD, is a business advisor, consultant, coach, speaker, and psychiatrist. The author of Get Out of Your Own Way and other popular books, he blogs for Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Business Insider, Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; cohosts a weekly radio show; and is featured frequently in major media, including The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, CNN, Fox News, and the TODAY show.



Connect with Mark Goulston:

Website: markgoulston.com

Twitter@MarkGoulston

Facebook.com/markgoulston
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Table of contents

CONTENTS



Foreword by Keith Ferrazzi xiii

Preface to the Paperback Edition xv

Acknowledgments xvii

SECTION I The Secret to Reaching Anyone 1

1 Who's Holding YOU Hostage? 3

2 A Little Science: How the Brain Goes from "No" to "Yes" 14



SECTION II The 9 Core Rules for Getting Through to Anyone 25

3 Move Yourself from "Oh F#@& to OK" 27

4 Rewire Yourself to Listen 36

5 Make the Other Person Feel "Felt" 45

6 Be More Interested Than Interesting 55

7 Make People Feel Valuable 64

8 Help People to Exhale Emotionally and Mentally 69

9 Check Your Dissonance at the Door 77

10 When All Seems Lost-Bare Your Neck 87

11 Steer Clear of Toxic People 94



SECTION III 12 Easy-to-Use Tools for Achieving Buy-in and Getting Through 109

12 The Impossibility Question 111

13 The Magic Paradox 116

14 The Empathy Jolt 123

15 The Reverse Play, Empathy Jolt #2 132

16 "Do You Believe That?" 138

17 The Power of "Hmmm. . . ." 142

18 The Stipulation Gambit 150

19 From Transaction to Transformation 155

20 Side by Side 163

21 Fill in the Blanks 170

22 Take It All the Way to "No" 176

23 The Power Thank You and Power Apology 180



SECTION IV Fast Fixes for 7 Challenging Situations 187

24 The Team from Hell 189

25 Climbing the Ladder 194

26 The Narcissist at the Table 197

27 Stranger in Town 200

28 The Human Explosion 204

29 Getting Through to Yourself 209

30 Six Degrees of Separation 215



Afterword 221

Index 223

About the Author 231

Keynotes/Workshops 233
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Review quote

"Who would benefit from reading Just Listen? I can't think of anyone who wouldn't --customer service staff, managers, salespeople, parents, you name it..." --The Chronicle Herald
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About Mark Goulston

Mark Goulston, MD, is a business advisor, consultant, coach, speaker, and psychiatrist. The author of Get Out of Your Own Way and other popular books, he blogs for Harvard Business Review, Fast Company, Business Insider, The Huffington Post, and Psychology Today; and he is featured frequently in major media, including The Wall Street Journal, Fortune, Newsweek, Time, CNN, Fox News, and the TODAY Show.
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Rating details

6,367 ratings
4.11 out of 5 stars
5 43% (2,728)
4 33% (2,119)
3 18% (1,156)
2 4% (282)
1 1% (82)
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