Hurt Feelings

Hurt Feelings : Theory, Research, and Applications in Intimate Relationships

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Hurt feelings are universal and are present in human beings as well as in animals. These feelings are usually avoided by human beings and overlooked by the scientific and professional mental health communities. Yet, if unresolved and not shared with loved ones and professionals, they tend to fester in our bodies and effect our functioning. If not expressed and shared with caring others, anger, sadness and fear are at the bottom of mental illness. Developmentally, each of these feelings respectively gives rise to antisocial acts, depression and severe mental illness. This book suggests that instead of traditional one-on-one, face-to-face, conversation-based interventions, distance writing will allow mental health professionals to assign interactive practice exercises specifically focused on hurt feelings.
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Product details

  • Electronic book text | 300 pages
  • Cambridge University Press (Virtual Publishing)
  • Cambridge, United Kingdom
  • English
  • 4 b/w illus. 1 table
  • 1139180258
  • 9781139180252

Table of contents

1. The nature of hurt feelings: what is intimacy?; Part I. Background: 2. Hurts: the avoided feelings; 3. The origins of hurt feelings; 4. The developmental socialization of hurt feelings; 5. Hurt feelings in the family; Part II. The Scientific Bases of Hurt Feelings: 6. The discovery of hurt feelings: the pioneers; 7. Biological processes underlying hurt feelings: with special attention to neural mechanisms Lin Xiao, Dana Smith, Antoine Bechara and Luciano L'Abate; 8. Gender and individual differences in hurt feelings; 9. Cultural differences in hurt feelings; 10. The psychopathology of hurt feelings: influences on physical and mental health; Part III. Applications of Hurt Feelings in Mental Health: 11. Sharing social support: self-help, health promotion, and prevention of mental illness; 12. Psychotherapy: sharing hurt feelings and fears of being hurt; Part IV. Models of Hurt Feelings in Theory and Applications: 13. Hurt feelings: a construct in search of a theory.
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Review quote

'Hurt Feelings: Theory, Research, and Applications in Intimate Relationships is a book that will have significant utility and wide applicability for a range of human helping disciplines (e.g., psychology, social work, medicine, and counseling). In this book, Dr L'Abate comprehensively describes how hurt feelings manifest and undergird most, if not all, personal and professional relationships. Of significance, Dr L'Abate considers the potential differential effects of biological and cultural factors on the antecedents and outcomes of 'hurt feelings'. Dr L'Abate is masterful in his deconstruction of this important construct. This book will serve as a seminal resource in the context of all the systems courses in which I teach for years to come.' Lisa M. Hooper, University of Alabama 'Dr L'Abate has achieved another tour de force in this, his most recent illuminating book on hurt feelings in intimate relationships. Who among us has not experienced hurt feelings periodically during our lifetime? This is a universal emotional reaction to behaviors towards oneself by significant others; yet as L'Abate cogently posits, this painful experience and affect, so often denied, is frequently overlooked in therapy, and in therapeutic and other literature. He anchors his carefully documented and beautifully nuanced discussion of the theory, research, and applications of the study of hurt feelings as they bubble up quickly or evolve slowly in Relational Competence Theory, and emphasizes the criticality of being able to discuss these feelings ... A must read for graduate students and professionals in all mental health disciplines who care about 'feelings'.' Florence Kaslow, President, Kaslow Associates and Distinguished Visiting Professor, Florida Institute of Technology 'There is now a new standard by which all future work on hurt feelings will be measured. Luciano L'Abate's book is one of the finest volumes I've seen on a single emotion. In it, he examines hurt feelings from every imaginable perspective - neuroscience, culture, gender theory, developmental, clinical psychology, and others. The ideas are rich and L'Abate takes the reader on an exciting tour on who gets hurt feelings and why ... This is a very readable book that is studiously researched. At the same time, it made me think about topics I never understood or appreciated. More than anything, it reminded me what a creative and fertile mind put this wonderful book together.' James W. Pennebaker, American Journal of Family Therapy
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About Luciano L'Abate

Luciano L'Abate, PhD is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Georgia State University in Atlanta, where he developed the first doctoral Family Psychology Program in the world. He is a Diplomate and former Examiner of the American Board of Professional Psychology and Fellow and Approved Supervisor of the American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Author or co-author of more than 300 papers, chapters and book reviews in professional and scientific journals, he is also author, co-author, editor or co-editor of 45 books, with six other books at various stages of production. His work has been translated in Argentina, China, Denmark, Finland, French-Canada, Germany, Italy, Japan, South Korea and Poland. In 2003 he received a Silver Medal from the President of the University of Bari and the Renoir Prize from the University of Lecce in Italy for Outstanding Achievement. In 2009 Dr L'Abate was the recipient of the Award for Distinguished Professional Contributions in Applied Psychology from the American Psychological Association.
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