Help Me Live

Help Me Live : 20 Things People with Cancer Want You to Know

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When we hear that someone close to us has been diagnosed with cancer, we want nothing more than to comfort them with words of hope, support, and love. But sometimes we don't know what to say or do and don't feel comfortable asking. With sensitive insights and thoughtful anecdotes, "Help Me Live" provides a personal yet thoroughly researched account of words and actions that are most helpful.
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Product details

  • Paperback | 272 pages
  • 152.4 x 200.66 x 17.78mm | 294.83g
  • Berkeley, United States
  • English
  • 1587612127
  • 9781587612121
  • 2,004,116

Table of contents


acknowledgments - xi

preface - 1

introduction - 7

20 things people with cancer want you to know

1. "It's okay to say or do the 'wrong' thing." - 20
2. "I need to know you're here for me (and if you aren't, why not)." - 27
3. "I like to hear success stories, not horror stories." - 41
4. "I am terrified." - 50
5. "I need you to listen to me and let me cry." - 61
6. "Asking my permission can spare me pain." - 75
7. "I need to forget--and laugh." - 86
8. "I need to feel hope." - 95
9. "Telling me to think positively can make me feel worse." - 105
10. "I want you to trust my judgment and my treatment decisions." - 113
11. "I want compassion, not pity; comfort, not advice." - 119
12. "I am more than my cancer; treat me kindly, not differently." - 129
13. "I want you to help without my asking you to." - 137
14. "I like to be held in your thoughts or prayers." - 145
15. "My moods change day to day; please forgive me if I snap at you." - 151
16. "Hearing platitudes or what's good about cancer can trivialize
my feelings." - 156
17. "I don't know why I got cancer, and I don't want to hear
your theory." - 164
18. "I need you to understand if I don't return your call or want
to see you." - 171
19. "I want my caregiver to take good care of herself or himself." - 180
20. "I don't know if I'm cured, and bringing up my health can bring
me down." - 190

afterword - 199

appendix - 201

I. The Survey - 202

II. Special Circumstances - 206

Soon after Diagnosis • During Treatment • Workplace Issues • Depression • Breast Cancer • Prostate Cancer • Lung Cancer • Rare Cancers • Children and Cancer • Gender Issues • Young Adults • Women in Their Childbearing Years • Parents with Cancer • Soon after Treatment • Long-Term Survivors • For Those of Faith • End-of-Life Issues

III. For Doctors and Other Health Care Providers Only - 228
IV. The Lists - 230

21 More Things People with Cancer Want You to Know • 15 Fabulous Things People Did for and Said to Cancer Patients • 12 Outrageous, Funny, or Awful Things Said to People with Cancer • Beware: 26 Common Words, Phrases, and Questions That Can Sting • 22 Things Most People with Cancer Like and Want to Hear • 20 Silly Movies for People with Cancer to See • 18 Things You Can Do (after Asking Permission, of Course) to Help Someone with Cancer • Instead of Saying That, You Might Say This

resources - 249

index -- 254
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Review quote

"With grace and good humor, Hope tells us what we all should know about facing this life-altering disease. Extraordinarily moving and helpful, this book is essential reading for cancer patients as well as their families and friends."
--Marc Silver, author of "Breast Cancer Husband" and editor at "U.S. News & World Report""
"What a remarkable book."
--Jimmie Holland, MD, Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center, author of "The Human Side of Cancer""
"Meaningful and valuable to cancer patients, their families, friends, caregivers, physicians, and therapists--as well as any compassionate individual living in a society with other human beings. Lori's hopeful and melodic voice sings throughout."
--Jo Ellen Lezotte, past president of The Cancer League, Inc.
"Help Me Live is personal, practical, and heartful and makes it easier to navigate the nitty-gritty realities of what to say and do if you want to help."
--Jean Shinoda Bolen, MD, author of "Close to t
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About Lori Hope

Lori Hope, a cancer survivor herself, has produced more than 20 documentaries, winning dozens of awards including two Emmys. Currently managing editor of Bay Area BusinessWoman News, Hope has been published in Newsweek and broadcast on radio stations nationwide.
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Rating details

82 ratings
4.01 out of 5 stars
5 39% (32)
4 27% (22)
3 30% (25)
2 4% (3)
1 0% (0)
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