The Cosmopolitan Volume 53

The Cosmopolitan Volume 53

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This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1912 edition. Excerpt: ... it's that a-way about Old Monte a whole lot. When he comes weavin' in that time, an' it dawns on us he's plottin' to make himse'f a perm'nency, it certainly does look for a spell that, what with his consumption of nose-paint an' his turrific genius for snorin', he's goin' to be more'n we can b'ar. "Does Old Monte snore? Xot to create ondoo excitement, it's none the less the bar'foot, onclothed trooth that his snorin' falls nothin' short of sinful. Dan Boggs has plenty of countenance when he brings them snores to the attention of Enright. "'Thar's shore a limit somewhar, Sam, ' Boggs says, 'to this yere drunkard's right to snore. Which he's simply keepin' everybody over to the O. K. House settin' up. Onless something's done to check him, thar'll be a epidemic of St. Vitus dance. You ask Doc Peets; he'll tell you that this yere Monte, with his snorin', is a scourge.' "Is Old Monte's snores that egreegious? As measurin' their deevastatin' scope, the stage corral is two hundred yards away; an' yet the nightly raspin's an' roarin's of that profligate keeps what cayooses is confined thar millin' all night long. They allows in their onseein' equine way thar's somethin' pendin', an' nacherally they don't desire none to be took onawares. Them ponies--which ponies allers has a heap more proodence than sense, that a-way--maintains themselves in constant readiness to make a frenzied break for the hills. "It's not alone their volume, but their quality which makes them snores of Old Monte so ondesir'ble. Mebby you-all never gives yourse'f up to a close study of snores. Some folks snores a heap deprecatory, an' like they're apol'gizin' for it as they goes along. Which you're disarmed from the start. Others snores in a manner ca' more

Product details

  • Paperback | 492 pages
  • 189 x 246 x 25mm | 871g
  • United States
  • English
  • black & white illustrations
  • 1236916174
  • 9781236916174