Complete Works of Josh Billings (Henry W. Shaw)

Complete Works of Josh Billings (Henry W. Shaw)

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This historic book may have numerous typos and missing text. Purchasers can usually download a free scanned copy of the original book (without typos) from the publisher. Not indexed. Not illustrated. 1876 edition. Excerpt: ...ov tribulashun skatters. A man has got about done going down hill when he gits whar he brags on hiz lazyness; such a kritter is ov no more use tew himself nor others than a frozen-tew-death rooster in a barnyard. He who spends all hiz substance in charity will undoutedly git his reward here and hereafter; but hiz reward here will be the poor-house. Give a smart child a pack ov kards and a spellin book, and he will larn tew pla a good game ov hi lo jak long before he kan spell a word ov two sillables. A lie iz good for a short race, but it takes truth tew run the heats-" blood will tell." Thare iz a huge number ov souls perambulating around the world who hav bin straining for years after a camel and finally had to swallow a nat. We should awl aim at perfeckshun, but no one but aphool will expekt tew reach it. Pride livs on itself, it iz like a raccoon in winter, keep fatt bi sucking its claws. Lafiing devils are the most dangerous. If i had a mule that wouldn't neither kik nor bite, i should watch him dredful spry till i found out whare hiz malice lay. GNATS. DONT kno az it iz a very difficult thing tew be a good injun up in heaven, but tew cum down here and be a good injun, iz just whare the tite spot cums in. Forgiving our enemys haz the same refreshing effekt upon our souls az it duz tew confess our sins. What a lamentable cuss man iz, he pittys hiz nabors misfortunes, bi calling them judgments from heaven. Wize men go thru this world az boys go tew bed in the dark, whistling tew shorten the distance. "The gods help them who help themselfs." Upon the same principle mankind praze thoze who praze themselfs. Falling in love iz like falling into mollassiss, sweet but dreadful dobby. Hunters and gamblers are...
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Product details

  • Paperback | 142 pages
  • 189 x 246 x 8mm | 268g
  • United States
  • English
  • black & white illustrations
  • 1236856449
  • 9781236856449