Calm Parents, Happy Siblings

Calm Parents, Happy Siblings : How to stop the fighting and raise friends for life

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Popular parenting expert Dr Laura Markham has garnered a large and loyal readership around the world, thanks to her simple, insightful approach that values the emotional bond between parent and child. However, as any parent of more than one child knows, it's challenging for even the most engaged parent to maintain harmony and a strong connection when competition, tempers, and irritation run high. In this highly anticipated guide, Dr Markham presents simple yet powerful ways to cut through the squabbling and foster a loving, supportive bond between siblings, while giving each child the vital connection that he or she needs.

Calm Parents, Happy Siblings presents hands-on, research-based advice on:

Creating deep connections with each one of your children, so that each truly believes that you couldn't possibly love anyone else more.

Fostering a loving family culture that encourages laughter and minimizes fighting.

Teaching your children healthy emotional self-management and conflict resolution skills - so that they can work things out with each other, get their own needs met and respect the needs of others.

Helping your kids forge a close lifelong sibling bond, as well as the relationship skills they will need for a life of healthy friendships, work relationships, and eventually their own family bonds.
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Product details

  • Paperback | 352 pages
  • 135 x 216 x 26mm | 348g
  • London, United Kingdom
  • English
  • 1785040251
  • 9781785040252
  • 47,253

Table of contents

1: Introduction

1: If You're Welcoming a New Baby
2: If Your Children Are Constantly Fighting


1: How You Can Be a Calm Parent

1: The Parenting Skills That Help You Become Calmer as a Parent

2: How Calm Discipline Supports the Sibling Relationship

1: Why Punishment and Permissiveness Cause More Sibling Fighting
2: Rethinking Discipline
3: Rethinking Time-outs
4: Rethinking Rewards
5: The Difference Between Consequences and Limits
6: What If Empathy Doesn't Work?
7: Preventive Maintenance
8: When Your Child Is Acting Out: Time-in
9: Helping Kids with Big Emotions: Scheduled Meltdowns
10: How to Help Each Child with Big Emotions When You Have More Than One Upset Child

3: What Causes Sibling Rivalry - And How Parents Can Make It Better

1: Your Child's Point of View: That's Not a Friend, It's a Replacement
2: Factors That Can Exacerbate Rivalry
3: The Power of Parents to Foster a Super Sibling Relationship


4: Coaching Kids to Communicate Feelings and Problem-solve

1: Coaching Essential Emotional Intelligence Skills
2: Your New Role: Interpreter
3: Coaching Kids to Identify and Communicate Their Needs and Feelings
4: Coaching Kids to Set Limits with Each Other
5: Coaching Kids to Listen to Each Other
6: Coaching Kids to Problem-solve
7: Basic Negotiation Tools to Teach Kids

5: When Problem-solving Fails: Teaching Conflict Resolution

1: What About 'We Get Along' Shirts?
2: Why Fighting Is Essential to Teach Children Relationship Skills
3: How to Help Children Learn to Work It Out Themselves
4: Empowering Kids to Stand Up to Teasing
5: Mean Words
6: When Your Child Says He Hates His Sibling
7: Intervening in a Sibling Fight: The Basics
8: Should You Punish Your Child for Aggression?
9: When Your Toddler Is the Aggressor Against Your Older Child
10: Coaching Kids to Handle Aggression from Younger Siblings
11: How to Stop Repeated Aggression
12: Teaching Skills: Intervening in a Sibling Fight
13: Helping Kids Make Repairs After a Fight, Instead of Forced Apologies

6: Why Can't They Just Share? Why Kids Fight Over Possessions

1: Rethinking Sharing: A Radical Solution
2: Self-regulated Turns: What Children Learn
3: Coaching Kids as They Wait for Their Turn

7: Easing the Competition

1: 'It's Not Fair!'
2: Never Compare
3: Resist Labelling
4: How to Celebrate Each Child Without Fuelling Competition
5: Who Gets to Push the Lift Button?
6: How to Ensure You Don't Unwittingly Foster Competition
7: Helping Kids with Competitive Feelings
8: Birth Order and Competition
9: What If You Prefer One Child?

8: Tools to Prevent Rivalry and Nurture Bonding

1: Expect Your Children to Value Each Other
2: Family Routines That Foster Sibling Bonding
3: Family Rules and Mottos That Support Sibling Closeness
4: How to Create More Positive Interactions Between Your Children
5: Strategies to Create a Sibling Team
6: Shifting Alliances: How to Keep Kids from Ganging Up on Each Other
7: Why Rough and Tumble Reduces Sibling Rivalry
8: Why Not Tickling?
9: When Kids Share a Room
10: When One Child Has a Friend Over
11: Family Meetings: The Resource You'll Be So Glad You Discovered


9: Before the Baby Arrives: Creating a Warm Welcome

1: Telling Your Child About the New Sibling
2: Twelve Ways to Help Your Kids Begin Bonding
3: During Your Pregnancy
4: Be Sure Your Child Can Rely on Both Parents
5: Ten Tips to Support Your Child Emotionally as He Moves Towards Becoming a Big Sibling
6: Weaning Versus Tandem Nursing
7: Preparing Your Child for the Separation During the Upcoming Birth
8: If You're Planning to Have Your Child at the Birth
9: Creating a Transition Book for Your Child
10: Making an Activity Box for Your Child
11: Work Through Your Own Emotions About Having a Second Child
12: Loving Each Child Best

10: Getting Off to a Good Start: Birth and the First Few Months

1: Introducing Your Child to the New Baby
2: The First Week: Settling In as a Family
3: How to Keep Your Child Occupied While You Feed the Baby
4: Helping Your Child with Her Mixed Emotions About the Baby
5: What About Those Overzealous Hugs?
6: Regression: When Your Child Goes Backwards
7: Managing Naptime and Bedtime with More Than One Child
8: The Early Months: The New Normal
9: When Your Child Has a Hard Time Adjusting
10: Daily Practices to Stay Connected to Your Child Now That He Has to Share You
11: Using Games to Help Your Child with Jealousy
12: Reading Books to Your Child About Becoming a Big Sib
13: Nine Tips to Foster a Great Relationship Between Your Children Right from the Start

11: Building a Positive Foundation When the Baby Begins to Crawl

1: Ten Tips to Maintain a Peaceful Home as Baby Moves Towards Toddlerhood
2: Dividing Your Time
3: How to Help Your Older Child Solve His Problems with the Little One
4: What to Say When Your Child Is Jealous of the Baby
5: What to Do About Toy Grabbing
6: When Your Child Is Aggressive Towards the Baby
7: What If the Aggressor Is Too Young to Understand?
8: What If It's the Baby Who's Aggressive?
9: Games to Help Your Children Bond with the Baby

12: Final Note: Choose Love
13: Acknowledgements
14: Notes
15: Index
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About Dr. Laura Markham

Dr Laura Markham is a clinical psychologist, parenting coach and mother of two children. She has helped thousands of families worldwide with her relationship-based model of parenting. For more information visit
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Rating details

69 ratings
4.43 out of 5 stars
5 58% (40)
4 32% (22)
3 7% (5)
2 1% (1)
1 1% (1)
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