Being and Loving

Being and Loving : How to Achieve Intimacy with Another Person and Retain One's Own Identity

3.89 (19 ratings by Goodreads)
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From the start of life, all of us strive to achieve two goals: intimacy with another person and discovery and expression of our own identity. All too often, however, we experience these goals as conflicting. Being and Loving is an outgrowth of Dr. Horner's work as a teacher and psychotherapist. In this book, she focuses on the image of self and of others formed in the first three years of life and guides readers down a carefully chosen path that leads to a workable solution to their problems. To all those who have experienced frustration and despair born of conflict between being and loving, this book says, "Give it another try."
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Product details

  • Paperback | 160 pages
  • 147.3 x 223.5 x 12.7mm | 226.8g
  • Northvale NJ, United States
  • English
  • 3rd Edition
  • 0765700395
  • 9780765700391
  • 1,203,824

Review quote

Praise for the First Edition: Althea Horner's Being and Loving discusses the most difficult problems of personal development and human existence with marvelous simplicity. What Martin Buber says about 'distancing' and 'relating' in his philosophical anthropology, she has presented in all concreteness. Using the twin poles of 'being' and 'loving' to indicate our simultaneous need for identity and intimacy, she has plotted the stages of the child's development for the first three years of its life. Illustrating with examples culled from her own practice as a psychotherapist, she draws on a wealth of knowledge of object relations and other theories of human development. Being and Loving is a book that has much to say to mental health professionals of every kind and school.. -- Maurice Friedman, Ph.D. Praise for the First Edition: Being and Loving points the way out of one of the most important dilemmas of human relationships, whether in the family, between lovers, or with friends. How can one establish intimacy while preserving one's unique identity? Dr. Horner's understanding of psychological development enriches her writing and offers valuable insights to the reader, professional and nonprofessional alike. For the professional, the book offers a wealth of sophisticated and extremely useful clinical information, accompanied by a large number of case examples. For the nonprofessional, the book is written so clearly and without jargon that it is readily understandable and very helpful... -- Samuel Slipp, M.D. Praise for the First Edition: This book is a rare commodity. Valuable for both practicing psychotherapists and for the lay public, it speaks to the issues of love and personal identity, straight from the shoulder and straight to the heart. Written with compassion and professional wisdom, the volume offers a fresh and practical view of the difficult but attainable balance between self-expression and intimacy. Because she stimulates rather than indoctrinates, Althea Horner succeeds where others who have addressed this difficult topic failed... -- Philip M. Bromberg, M.D.
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About Althea J. Horner

Althea J. Horner is an honorary member of the Southern California Psychoanalytic Institute and Society and a scientific associate of the American Academy of Psychoanalysis. She is listed in Who's Who in America and has been writing articles and books for forty years. While Dr. Horner has retired from clinical practice, she continues to write in Pasadena, California.
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Rating details

19 ratings
3.89 out of 5 stars
5 32% (6)
4 47% (9)
3 5% (1)
2 11% (2)
1 5% (1)
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