Bats : Return to Damnalot

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"Jonathan's horrid singing and guitar playing were joined by one hundred and one horrid violins. The music began to swell- like an arthritic knee. The clan-still holding hands, claws, and butts-swayed together in front of the castle beneath a black rainbow. The bats joined in, echolocationally." BATS DEGREES DEGREESo DEGREES DEGREES Protecting their habitat! Centuries ago, Vlad "The Impaler" Tepes and Elizabeth "The Bloody Countess" Bathory bathed their homeland in blood. There was nothing good or bad about the pair's excesses. That is what Transylvanians "do" and have always done, until now. Today, a great evil has begun to turn their homeland into an amusement park. The tour buses have arrived! Vlad and Liz cannot sleep! Forced to put on some clothes, they will be joined by a handful of staff and family including the tiny witch, Lupta Axe, (a famous author of smutty bodice-ripping novels). They must fight for Transylvania! Meet: The mercenaries! Meine Runt-Pferde (My Tiny Horsies)! The out-of-shape architect bikers! The Hell's Angles! The feared women cutthroats! The Black Friday Shoppers!show more

Product details

  • Paperback | 260 pages
  • 152.4 x 228.6 x 14.99mm | 458.13g
  • Createspace Independent Publishing Platform
  • United States
  • English
  • black & white illustrations
  • 1507723431
  • 9781507723432

About Fred Barnett

About the Author Freddy Barnett (Infinity Upton-Downes) started his writing career at age 840, estab- lished a world-wide following after penning two-hundred and twenty-seven books of her Tragic Lust series, which she had started in 1437. Bloody Good (True shark stories) is a grand collection of sharks tales (from the beginning of history) told from the shark's point of view. "Man uses Wife for Shark Bait" "Man loses arm Twice" "Shark Eats Dog on Beach!" Yes, THAT sort of thing. The Kingdom of the Cats (Originally titled Second Chances)-a short story anthology is upcoming. Real life tales that they way they SHOULD have been, dammit. Other towering monuments of distinguished literature are also being threatened: Shark Fin Soup: A tale of Shark Gods, Cannibals, Mad Cows, and Endless Love Period (The Island of Lost Stuff)show more