Excerpt from Autobiography of Elder T. F. Adams
This experience brought me into a strait. I resolved to im prove my standing before God with the h0pe of appeasing hiswrath and thereby meet Him in peace. There were times when l fancied myself a good boy. I had, I thought, improved my standing before God. I would often compare myself with members of Willow Springs Primitive Baptist Church, of which my father was a deacon and my mother a member. I thought father and mother were good Christian members, but I saw some whom I thought would not pass inspection as being good. I told myself that they would do and say things that I would not think of doing or saying. Now, I thought, they are professed members of that body and I am on the'outside, and my life is above reproach. I said (within) that even though I am not a member and they are members, I am sure that God will save me if He saves them.
I went so far as to say that if God did not save me but did save them, He would be an uniust God. At this time I thought that eternal life was based upon works of my own righteousness. It seemed right to me. Do good and be good. I thought that if I did some things that were not becoming to a Christian, I could add many more good things which would offset the bad and still have a credit to my account. There is a way that seemeth right unto man but the end thereof is death. I will tell you more about this later.
At about eighteen or twenty yea rs of age, I decided that it was nothing but foolishness for me to be disturbed about the future welfare of my soul. I also told myself that in all likelihood I would live to be an old man, and if I spent too much of my time in trying to serve God, I would lose too much enioyment in social life with my boy friends and girl friends. Another thing stood in my way. I said that if I spent too much of my time seeking the welfare of my soul, it would be very noticeable to worldly associates, and they would probably point their fingers of scorn at me and say, There goes that little Christian. This would have been embarrassing. I continued in this frame of mind for some time, in the belief that getting religion was within my reach and I could grasp it at will. I consoled myself with the thought that I would attend to this matter before it was too late. At least, I said, I shall wait until I have built me a house and married a wife, and then I will have more time to add more works of righteousness to my account and thereby meet God in peace.
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