It is 1999, and Lincoln is working second shift at the newspaper which means he doesn't get off work until 1 in the morning. Part of his job is to monitor the emails flagged by a program called WebFence, which flags emails containing certain key words or too-frequent emails. Emails between Jennifer, a copy editor, and Beth, a movie reviewer, keep turning up in the folder.
As Lincoln reads these emails, he finds that he really likes both of these women. They are funny and smart, and even though Beth has a rocker boyfriend, he finds himself wanting to actually talk to her in person and maybe take her out, even though he doesn't even know what she looks like.
He really should send them a warning about the frequency of their emails, but he really likes them; they feel like friends ... but then again, technically, that would mean he has no reason to read their emails.
As Lincoln becomes more and more dissatisfied with a boring job that makes him feel like a spy, his sister Eve telling him that he really, really needs to move out of their mother's house, and a sort of twilight life that means he almost never actually talks to people at work (they've all mostly gone home by the time he gets in), he is also trying to figure out how to meet Beth. How can he act on any of the information he's read in the emails without seeming like some creepy stalker?
This was such a wonderfully funny novel. I, too, fell in love with Beth and Jennifer, with their wonderful friendship outlined in their emails to each other with their personalities sparkling through. Lincoln is such a wonderful faulty protagonist; I just kept hoping against hope that things would work out for him, especially since he hasn't really had a girlfriend since his high-school sweetheart dumped him for someone else after they hit college together. Some of Lincoln's actions did seem rather stalkerish, and they were ... just a little ... enough for even Lincoln to second guess himself on them. As an old devotee of Dungeons and Dragons, the spots of D&D action with Lincoln and his friends were gut-bustingly funny (if you've ever played, you'll understand).
Wonderfully refreshing, sparklingly (I know, that's not really a word) funny, romantic in a stalkerish kind of way (I know, stalkerish isn't a real word, either), Attachments is the sort of debut novel that makes you want to pick up anything that comes next, especially if you like laughing out loud and seeing people give you strange looks as you do so.
QUOTES (from an ARC; may be different in final copy):
I think I'm pregnant
What? Why do you think you're pregnant?
I had three drinks last Saturday.
I think we need to have a little talk about the birds and the bees. That's not exactly how it happens.
Whenever I have too much to drink, I start to feel pregnant. I think it's because I never drink, and it would just figure that the one time I decide to loosen up, I get pregnant. Three hours of weakness, and now I'm going to spend the rest of my life wrestling with the special needs of a fetal alcoholic.
I don't think they call them that.
Its little eyes will be too far apart, and everyone will look at me in the grocery store and whisper, "Look at that horrible lush. She couldn't part with her Zima for nine months. It's tragic."
You drink Zima?
Beth was funny. She was smart. She was interesting. And she had the sort of job that made someone more interesting. The sort of job a woman would have in a movie, a romantic comedy starring John Cusack.
He's wanted to see what she looked like. He'd wanted to see where she sat when she wrote the things he read.
He was glad he hadn't found a picture of her. It had been enough to see the pictures of people she loved. To see how he didn't fit into them.
If you die in a freak combine accident, I'm going to marry Mitch and live happily ever after. (I'm going to live happily ever after because Mitch is the best husband ever. Mitch, however, will spend the rest of his life pining for his one true love. You.)
Writing: 5 out of 5 stars
Plot: 4.5 out of 5 stars
Characters: 4.75 out of 5 stars
Reading Immersion: 4.5 out 5 stars
BOOK RATING: 4.6875 out of 5 starsshow more
by Julie Smith