Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality DisorderPaperback
- Publisher: New Harbinger Publications
- Format: Paperback | 306 pages
- Dimensions: 152mm x 226mm x 18mm | 431g
- Publication date: 19 January 2012
- Publication City/Country: Oakland, CA
- ISBN 10: 1608820254
- ISBN 13: 9781608820252
- Sales rank: 35,242
Divorce is difficult under the best of circumstances. Dealing with this inherently adversarial process can be highly emotional on both sides. But when a divorcing individual is a "persuasive blamer"-someone who suffers from borderline personality disorder (BPD), narcissistic personality disorder (NPD), or simply has a high-conflict, manipulative personality-their behavior can have devastating ramifications for their former spouses. People with these disorders may adopt physical and verbal abuse as strategies, lie to lawyers and judges, manipulate the court, and may even level charges of abuse in order to get their way. Because persuasive blamers are so convincing and even charming, these techniques work surprisingly well and often result in unfair rulings. Splitting is a legal and psychological guidebook that everyone seeking a divorce from a persuasive blamer should own. Written by Bill Eddy, a family lawyer, divorce mediator, and experienced social worker, and Randi Kreger, BPD expert and author of the bestselling Stop Walking on Eggshells, it offers readers help for navigating the entire process of divorce: hiring and managing a divorce lawyer, reaching a reasonable settlement, protecting oneself and one's children from emotional and/or physical abuse from the former spouse, resisting false accusations, and getting enforceable court orders. The book also delves into the difficult-to-understand, aggressive behavior of persuasive blamers, offering readers psychological explanations for their former spouse's actions and help for coping emotionally with the spouse's extreme mood swings and impulsivity.
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Bill Eddy, LCSW, JD, has been a family lawyer for over eighteen years and a therapist for over twelve years. He is senior family mediator at the National Conflict Resolution Center in San Diego, CA, and the president of the High Conflict Institute in Scottsdale, AZ. He is a faculty member at Pepperdine University School of Law and the National Judicial College and has provided seminars to judges, lawyers, counselors, and others on the subject of managing high-conflict personalities in legal disputes. Randi Kreger owns and maintains www.bpdcentral.com, one of the largest and most popular websites about borderline personality disorder (BPD). With nearly twenty thousand active members, her website offers online support to friends and family members of those with BPD. Kreger was instrumental in the formation of the Personality Disorders Awareness Network (PDAN), a not-for-profit organization, and speaks at BPD workshops internationally. She is author of Stop Walking on Eggshells, The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook, and The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder.
""Splitting" provides concise, clear, and invaluable advice for strategically navigating a divorce from someone who has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. Following the suggestions laid out in this book will greatly increase the readers' odds of having a successful marital dissolution under these difficult circumstances." --Susan Pease Gadoua, LCSW, founder and executive director of the Transition Institute of Marin and author of "Contemplating Divorce" and "Stronger Day by Day "