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    How to be an Adult in Love: Letting Love in Safely and Showing it Recklessly (Hardback) By (author) David Richo

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    DescriptionHow to let love into our lives, and how to express that love to the world at large--the latest from a best-selling author. We were made to love and be loved. Loving ourselves and others is in our genetic code. It's nothing other than the purpose of our lives--but knowing that doesn't make it easy to do. We may find it a challenge to love ourselves. We may have a hard time letting love in from others. We're often afraid of getting hurt. It is also sometimes scary for us to share love with those around us--and love that isn't shared leaves us feeling flat and unfulfilled. David Richo provides the tools here for learning how to love in evolved adult ways--beginning with getting past the barriers that keep us from loving ourselves, then showing how we can learn to open to love others. The first challenge is that we have a hard time letting love in: recognizing it, accepting it from others. We're afraid of it, of getting hurt. The second, related problem is that we're unable to share love with those around us--and love that isn't shared isn't truly love. The first step to learning to love and be loved, according to Richo's model, is to identify the different levels of love so that you can hit each one separately. He breaks it down to three: - Level One: Positive Connection. As simple as being courteous, respectful, helpful, and honest, and decent in all our dealings. Pretty basic, but it makes the world a better place, and it's the essential foundation for growing in love. - Level Two: Caring and Personal Connection. Intimacy and commitment to friends, family, partners, lovers. Commitment to others. - Level Three: Unconditional and Universal. Transcending the love of individuals to the love of all beings; self-sacrificing. The love expressed in the Sermon on the Mount and the Bodhicharyavatara. This level of love isn't for a heroic few, it's everyone's calling. He then shows us how to incorporate these varieties of love into our lives. It's a relief to know that even just aspiring to incorporate them really changes things. He also provides exercises and guided meditations for identifying and getting through the things that keep you from getting and giving love at each of these three levels. Through the lens of these types of love, Richo covers topics such as: how to still be yourself while loving another; how to embrace your dark side; what to do when the one who loves you dies; need versus fear; clinging; healthy sexuality, including fantasies and how to experience pleasure without guilt; how to break distructive patterns in your relationships; and how to have safe conversations with your loved one. Richo provides wisdom from Buddhism, psychology, and a range of spiritual traditions, along with a wealth of practices both for avoiding the pitfalls that can occur in love relationships and for enhancing the way love shows up in our lives. He then leads us on to love's inevitable outcome: developing a heart that loves universally and indiscriminately. This transcendent and unconditional love isn't just for a heroic few, Richo shows, it's everyone's magnificent calling.


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  • Full bibliographic data for How to be an Adult in Love

    Title
    How to be an Adult in Love
    Subtitle
    Letting Love in Safely and Showing it Recklessly
    Authors and contributors
    By (author) David Richo
    Physical properties
    Format: Hardback
    Number of pages: 272
    Width: 155 mm
    Height: 231 mm
    Thickness: 23 mm
    Weight: 522 g
    Language
    English
    ISBN
    ISBN 13: 9781611800340
    ISBN 10: 161180034X
    Classifications

    B&T Merchandise Category: GEN
    B&T Book Type: NF
    Nielsen BookScan Product Class 3: T9.1
    LC subject heading:
    B&T Modifier: Region of Publication: 01
    BIC subject category V2: VSP
    BIC E4L: FAM
    BIC subject category V2: VFVG
    LC subject heading:
    Warengruppen-Systematik des deutschen Buchhandels: 14810
    B&T General Subject: 725
    DC22: 158.2
    Ingram Subject Code: HE
    Libri: I-HE
    B&T Modifier: Subject Development: 30
    LC subject heading: ,
    BISAC V2.8: PSY017000
    LC subject heading: , ,
    BISAC V2.8: SEL008000, SEL031000, FAM029000
    DC23: 158.2
    LC classification: BF575.L8 R528 2013
    Thema V1.0: JMH, JHBK, VFVG, VSP
    Publisher
    Shambhala Publications Inc
    Imprint name
    Shambhala Publications Inc
    Publication date
    04 September 2013
    Publication City/Country
    Boston
    Author Information
    David Richo, PhD, is a psychotherapist, teacher, writer, and workshop leader whose work emphasizes the benefits of mindfulness and loving-kindness in personal growth and emotional well-being. He is the author of numerous books, including "How to Be an Adult in Relationships" and "The Five Things We Cannot Change." He lives in Santa Barbara and San Francisco, California.