How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking About it

How to Improve Your Marriage without Talking About it

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By (author) Patricia Love, By (author) Steven Stosny

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  • Publisher: Broadway Books (A Division of Bantam Doubleday Del
  • Format: Paperback | 224 pages
  • Dimensions: 132mm x 203mm x 15mm | 204g
  • Publication date: 9 May 2008
  • Publication City/Country: New York
  • ISBN 10: 0767923189
  • ISBN 13: 9780767923187
  • Edition statement: Reprint
  • Sales rank: 18,215

Product description

Men are right. The "relationship talk" "does not" help. Dr. Patricia Love's and Dr. Steven Stosny's "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" reveals the stunning truth about marital happiness: Love is "not" about better communication. It's about connection. You'll never get a closer relationship with your man by talking to him like you talk to one of your girlfriends. Male emotions are like women's sexuality: you can't be too direct too quickly. There are four ways to connect with a man: touch, activity, sex, routines. Men want closer marriages just as much as women do, but not if they has to act like a woman. Talking makes women move closer; it makes men move away. The secret of the silent male is this: his wife supplies the meaning in his life. The stunning truth about love is that talking doesn't help. Have you ever had this conversation with your spouse? Wife: "Honey, we need to talk about us." Husband: "Do we have to?" Drs. Patricia Love and Steven Stosny have studied this all-too-familiar dynamic between men and women and have reached a truly shocking conclusion. Even with the best of intentions, talking about your relationship doesn't bring you together, and it will eventually drive you apart. The reason for this is that underneath most couples' fights, there is a biological difference at work. A woman's vulnerability to fear and anxiety makes her draw closer, while a man's subtle sensitivity to shame makes him pull away in response. This is why so many married couples fall into the archetypal roles of nagging wife/stonewalling husband, and why improving a marriage can't happen through words. "How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking About It" teaches couples how to get closer in ways that don't require "trying to turn a man into a woman." Rich in stories of couples who have turned their marriages around, and full of practical advice about the behaviors that make and break marriages, this essential guide will help couples find love beyond words.

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Author information

Patricia Love, Ed.D., is an acclaimed therapist and speaker and author of four books, including "Hot Monogamy "and "The Truth About Love." She has appeared on "Oprah" and "Today" and on CNN, and has contributed to many magazines, including "Cosmopolitan" and "Self." Steven Stosny, Ph.D., is a therapist who specializes in men's issues and has appeared on Oprah in two highly rated shows on men and marriage. He is the author of "You Don't Have to Take It Anymore: Turn Your Resentful, Angry, or Emotionally Abusive Relationship into a Compassionate, Loving One."

Review quote

"If you've ever told your spouse, 'I talk until I'm blue in the face, ' or 'It's in one ear and out the other, ' stop whatever you're doing and read this book immediately! You're about to discover why talking things out isn't always the best way to get through to your spouse or achieve more closeness and connection. More important, you'll learn exactly what you need to "do" today to truly transform your relationship forever." ---Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW, founder of divorcebusting.com and author of "Divorce Busting "and "The Sex-Starved Marriage"