Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power

Difficult Mothers: Understanding and Overcoming Their Power

Paperback

By (author) Teri Apter

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  • Publisher: WW Norton & Co
  • Format: Paperback | 256 pages
  • Dimensions: 138mm x 208mm x 18mm | 220g
  • Publication date: 21 June 2013
  • Publication City/Country: New York
  • ISBN 10: 0393345440
  • ISBN 13: 9780393345445
  • Edition statement: Reprint
  • Sales rank: 80,224

Product description

Mother love is often seen as sacred, but for many children the relationship is a painful struggle. Using the newest research on human attachment and brain development, Terri Apter, an internationally acclaimed psychologist and writer, unlocks the mysteries of this complicated bond. She showcases the five different types of difficult mother-the angry mother, the controlling mother, the narcissistic mother, the envious mother, and the emotionally neglectful mother-and explains the patterns of behavior seen in each type. Apter also explores the dilemma at the heart of a difficult relationship: why a mother has such a powerful impact on us and why we continue to care about her responses long after we have outgrown our dependence. She then shows how we can conduct an "emotional audit" on ourselves to overcome the power of the complex feelings a difficult mother inflicts. In the end this book celebrates the great resilience of sons and daughters of difficult mothers as well as acknowledging their special challenges.

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Author information

Terri Apter is a writer, psychologist, and Fellow of Newnham College, Cambridge University. Her books include The Sister Knot and What Do You Want from Me? She lives in Cambridge, England.

Review quote

"The most intelligent and lucid account I've read of human psychology." -- Carol Gilligan "Apter ... risks the wrath of anyone who romanticizes 'mother love' as instinctual and universal by describing, candidly and cogently, the framework in which children experience their most significant attachment." "This sound, intelligent book is a good starting point for a self-examination." "Apter's advice will help readers make sense of difficult mother-child relationships and develop strategies for reshaping responses and expectations... Anyone with a problematic maternal relationship will find empathy and therapeutic approaches for healing."